Failing to find an amazing experience at uni? You're not alone.
Robert Medhurst spent most of his freshers' week looking at online platforms, reading posts about other students' fun nights out.
"I stayed indoors," Robert recalls, depicting those days as the loneliest time of his life.
Robert's flatmates didn't go out much, and his studies didn't appear very sociable.
Despite putting himself out there by going to taster sessions for various societies, he couldn't find people he connected with.
"I gradually lost my self-assurance," he says. "I believed individuals didn't desire to be friends with me, or they didn't like me."
Online Network Judgments
At first, Robert wasn't considering of attending college and received employment offers for following college.
However he observed his peers enjoying themselves as college students online.
"When you must rise for employment on weekdays at 9:00 and you observe peers partied on the previous evening, you begin believing the grass is greener," Robert mentions.
College Anticipations
TV shows and online platforms can romanticize the concept of college existence.
Many individuals arrive at college with strong assumptions for what they think could be the greatest period of their lives.
Certain attendees arrive at college with "optimistic perspectives," says a support services coordinator.
Survey Findings
- In a poll of first-year attendees early on, the main anxiety was fitting in and finding acceptance
- Additional research by market research agencies, a significant minority said they were without companions at university
- 37% said they experienced concern frequently about building relationships
Personal Journeys
Alisha Miah's TikTok feed was populated with clips of students enjoying themselves while sharing accommodation in student houses.
However when she relocated from London to Sheffield to study journalism, she found initial days "intense" because of how much alcohol it involved.
She avoids drinking and had not experienced nightlife before.
"I actually passed much of orientation in my room," she says. "I simply experienced a bit alienated."
Emotional Wellbeing Factors
In a 2025 survey of more than 10,000 college learners, 29% said they contemplated dropping out.
The main cause was psychological wellbeing, accompanied by financial concerns.
"Anxiety about these multiple factors is massively common, and expected," adds a support specialist.
Discovering Answers
Over periods, the students eventually adapted and built connections.
She built connections during classes and using online platforms, while Christina felt happier when she could to share accommodation with peers.
Useful Suggestions
Regarding his experience, now 24 and in his final year, it was engaging in performance groups and getting a part-time job that helped him make friends.
His recommendation to beginning learners experiencing connection challenges is to simply leave your accommodation and attend organization sample activities.
"Subsequent to periods of consistently showing up, individuals become familiar with you," he mentions, "you notice their presence, and you start making friends."
